just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
