Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
