Already got asked if we're dating
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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