I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
