I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
