the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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