How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
