Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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