I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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