"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
