omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
