is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
