I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
