There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
