try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
did i just pee glitter
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
