So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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