You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize