it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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