it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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