I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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