My liver just broke up with me...
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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