physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
