You smell like stripper and shame
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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