you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
