On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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