they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
