To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
