You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
