so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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