Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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