Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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