so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
