then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
