The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize