She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
