What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
