As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
