clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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