Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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