Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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