Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.

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(702): View more from Nevada

the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!

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(+07): View more from

tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

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(480): View more from Arizona

Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore

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(704): View more from North Carolina

How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????

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(312): View more from Illinois

i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.

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