i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize