First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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