I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
