My liver just broke up with me...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
