i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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