You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
