I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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