margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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