he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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