Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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