Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
