i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
