and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just invented taco cereal.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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