Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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