i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
