OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
