hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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