So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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