just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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