So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
