Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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