everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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