i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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