I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
